How to Completely Discredit Your Cause with a Single Image

Courtesy of the World Wildlife Fund:


Caption: "The tsunami killed 100 times more people than 9/11. The planet is brutally powerful. Respect it. Preserve it."

The accompanying video can be viewed here.

WWF's response here.

23. Jay-Z "99 Problems" (2004)

I don't know if I count 99 of them, but Jay Z certainly has a cornucopia of gripes: critics, the police, rival rappers, the rap media, a racist district attorney. The number doesn't quite reach the triple digit: he makes it clear that a "bitch ain't one" of those titular problems.

Throughout the song's triptych of verses, Jay Z confronts his adversaries with swagger and defiance. But it's the second verse that especially stands out. As he recounts a run-in with the law, Jay-Z deftly switches perspective between the police officer and himself. In a virtuoso example of rhyming and storytelling, Jay-Z enters a battle of wits with the officer:

Officer: "License and registration and step out of the car. Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are?"

Jay-Z: "I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit"

Officer: "Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"

Jay-Z: "Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back. And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that."

Officer: "Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something? Or somebody important or somethin'?"

Jay-Z: "Nah, I ain't pass the bar but I know a little bit. Enough that you won't illegally search my shit"

While Rick Rubin's album version is great, Danger Mouse's mash-up of the song, with the Beatle's "Helter Skelter," is brilliant. Unfortunately, as Danger Mouse didn't actually secure the rights to the two songs, it's also very illegal.

Whatever the version, the lyric, not the music, is the star of "99 Problems." And for that, Jay-Z has earned the right to swagger.

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24. Madonna "Hung Up" (2005)

This is the sound of Madonna begging her fans for forgiveness, a 120 BPM act of contrition.

You see, in 2003, Madonna decided to release a somber electro-folk album of protest songs called American Life. She soon discovered that when you're Madonna, you don't release a somber electro-folk album of protest songs without seriously offending your (mostly gay) fanbase. Being the savviest artist of her generation, Ms. Ciccone was smart enough to pull an immediate about face. She squeezed herself into a purple leotard and record some of the frothiest dance music of her career. Hence, "Hung Up."

Madonna beat Junior Vasquez to the punch and released a single that came pre-remixed and ready to dance (with an impossible-to-get-if-you're-not-Madonna ABBA sample, to boot). "Hung Up" stands shoulder to shoulder with early career hits like "Holiday" and "Into the Groove," and is essentially a throwback to her club days.

"Hung Up" is great because, where most hit singles contain one really good hook, it contains three: the aforementioned sample of "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!," the chorus ("Every little thing that you say or do...!"), and the excellent bridge ("I can't keep on waiting for you!").

You could say Madonna was punished for venturing into new sonic territories with American Life, and her return to dance was a step backwards, a capitulation to whiny fans. I think there's some truth to that. Still, "Hung Up" shows that at this point in her career, Madonna is best when she's just being Madonna.

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Hung.Up-Madonna.
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25. Justin Timberlake "Cry Me a River" (2002)

"Cry Me a River" is surprisingly baroque for a pop song, even by modern pop standards. Justin Timberlake's producers, Timbaland and Scott Storch, layer the song with texture upon texture, making it more appropriate for headphones than a car with its windows down.

As far as kiss-offs go (and there are a few on this list), "Cry Me a River" is more hurt than scorn, which makes the song genuinely moving. (Britney really did break the poor boy's heart.) It's also funky and, with its human beatboxing and Gregorian chant samples, a little weird.

Justin Timberlake is the only male artist from the late-90s bubblegum renaissance who managed to successfully transition to a serious solo career. You have to give it to Justin; the guy is ambitious. It's no secret the JT wants very badly to be the next Michael Jackson. He may fall short of that goal, even Jackson had a hard time at being Michael Jackson, but he's made some really good music because he aims so high.

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Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River (Official Music Video) - The most amazing bloopers are here

The Joy of Overwhelming Dislike

I don't typically engage in schadenfreude, but the Metacritic page for the new Sandra Bullock movie, All About Steve, is pretty great. It's not easy to annoy virtually every major film critic (even Transformers 2 received a few decent reviews), but Bullock managed to pull off that ignoble feat.

Here's an especially good quote, from the Boston Globe:

It is to comedy what leprosy once was to the island of Molokai: a plague best contemplated from many miles away.

In a spectacular feat of miscasting, the star plays a California fruitcake named Mary Horowitz who lives with her parents, constructs crossword puzzles for a living, and never stops yammering about the trivia that fizzes around her brain. Mary is supposed to be adorable. She’s not. She’s possibly the most irritating character I’ve ever encountered in a Hollywood movie. Five minutes in her presence produces only a searing pain in one’s frontal lobes and a primal flight response. The other characters understand this. Why don’t the filmmakers?

Ouch.

The Incredible Growing Receipt

The WSJ reports on how store receipts are getting preposterously long.

Many shoppers have noticed with chagrin store receipts getting longer and longer as retailers tack coupons, return policies, loyalty points and other bits of information and advertising onto narrow pieces of paper that are supposed to be a record of what you bought and how much you paid.

The purchase of a pack of gum from a Duane Reade Inc. store in New York generated a foot-long receipt. Single-item buys made recently at RadioShack Corp. stores around the country each yielded 19 inches of paper. The purchase of a Hula Hoop at a Chicago Kmart produced a receipt two-and-a-half feet long.

Seems excessive, sure. But stores are benefiting from using the extra paper, or else they wouldn't do it.

NCR said redemption rates for coupons printed on receipts can run as high as 3%, about triple the rate of coupons mailed to customers or included in advertising circulars. Retailers "find it's one of the most effective places to communicate with their customers," Mr. Bogan said.

26. The Strokes "Someday" (2001)

It's hard to believe that, earlier this decade, the Strokes were heralded as the saviors of rock music. Of course, rock didn't need saving. Radiohead had already released what was widely seen as their (still overrated) second masterpiece, Kid A. And indie rock was alive and well, as it usually is, creating great music under the radar. But popular rock was dominated by chest-bumping rap rock, pedestrian acts like Matchbox 20, and the last gasps of neo-grunge. The Strokes, with the White Stripes, ushered in a new aesthetic: the return of popular, stripped-down garage rock. (With that they also brought vogue to the definite article, with lesser bands like the Hives, the Vines, the Mooney Suzuki, and so on.)

"Someday" is a testament to the excitement of the Strokes' initial promise. While "Last Night" is their most popular song, "Someday" finds the Strokes at their petulant best. It epitomizes what was great about the band: Julian Casablancas' vocal matches, and plays with, the pop melody of the lead guitar, while the airtight rhythm section drives the music along.

Alas, the dream soon died, at least for the Strokes (and their ilk). They were never able to recapture the lightening that struck with their first album, Is This It. Still, "Someday" continues to remind us why we cared so much in the first place.

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The Strokes - Someday (Official Music Video) - The funniest bloopers are right here